Negotiation Isn’t Just for Business Deals – We’ve Been Doing It Since We Were Babies
Negotiation has been part of our lives since the day we were born. Think about it—when you were a baby crying for a pacifier, you were already negotiating with an adult to get what you wanted. So when I say we’ve always been negotiating, it’s true.
For many, the word “negotiation” still feels intimidating. The truth is, we negotiate all the time—in business, in relationships, and in everyday decisions—and most of the time, everyone walks away happy. The key isn’t “winning an argument”; it’s achieving the best outcome for all involved.
Here are seven strategies to help you negotiate more effectively:
1. It’s Not Personal — It’s Business
Negotiation works best when emotions are kept in check. Offers, counteroffers, and pushback aren’t personal—they’re part of the process. Your focus should always be on achieving the best outcome, not “winning an argument.”
2. Preparation Wins Before You Step In
Successful negotiation starts long before the conversation begins. Know the facts—comparable sales, market conditions, and the motivations of both sides. Anticipate objections and plan your responses. The more prepared you are, the more confident—and persuasive—you’ll appear.
3. The Power of Silence
After making an offer, don’t rush to fill the silence. Quiet creates pressure, often prompting the other side to speak—and sometimes reveal more than they intended. A well-timed pause can lead to better terms without saying a word.
4. Anchor the Conversation
The first numbers mentioned often set the tone for the entire negotiation. Whoever sets the anchor frames the range of possibilities. Even if you don’t land exactly on your number, you’ve guided the conversation closer to your side.
5. Separate People from the Problem
Focus on the issue, not the individual. Be tough on the problem but empathetic toward the person. Avoid labeling the other side as “difficult”—instead, frame the conversation as a collaborative effort to solve a problem together.
6. Know When to Walk Away
Before negotiating, identify your BATNA—your Best Alternative to a Negotiated Agreement.
Your BATNA is simply your backup plan if the deal doesn’t come together. It helps you avoid accepting a bad deal and gives you leverage because you know exactly what your next-best option is. Sometimes, the smartest move is walking away from a deal that doesn’t meet your needs, keeping you in a stronger position for the next opportunity.
7. Close with Clarity
End every negotiation by clearly summarizing the agreement. Confirm that everyone understands the terms so nothing is left to chance. A successful negotiation doesn’t end in confusion—it ends with confidence.
Negotiation isn’t about confrontation—it’s about communication, preparation, and understanding. By keeping emotions in check, preparing thoroughly, using strategic silence, anchoring effectively, separating people from problems, knowing when to walk away, and closing with clarity, you can achieve outcomes that satisfy everyone at the table.
Remember: we’ve been negotiating since birth. With the right approach, anyone can negotiate with confidence and get results.
If you are looking for a good book on negotiating, you need to read Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss.
Wayne Kirby- Managing Partner/Owner - The Agency Oklahoma
405-550-5252
waynekirbyrealestate.com
